REDHA

Nearly 6.30pm baru keluar ofis. Nama je nak balik, tapi still bawak kerja...dengan laptop nya, dengan buku2 hr nya..Tak tido malam lagi jawabnya hari ni...what to do..esok kena present depan the big2 boss..kena le study.

Baru nak pegang stereng kereta, someone call...with some news... a not so good news... ( no wonder la agaknya 2 kali the blue key-chain jatuh & terpisah2 before I depart that day..)

Aduhai...how will u react to a situation like that...when you were told you're not up to the expectation. I feel like protesting. I didn't gave any false statement, right? Why, then?!

Termenung la sekejap Rambo dalam kereta.

Sebak juga (tak rugged betul..tak cam Rambo la pulak...!)

Call Raden, tak berangkat.

Masuk ofis balik...'Raden....!!'..

'Why...what happen' Raden terpinga2..

I just couldn't say anything, speechless. But I smile to her...though my heart cry.

'Tak pe lah..citer esok'

Ambil my kakak. I kept quiet all the way home. But in the dark, I could feel my tears flow.

Why must I cry?

Why?

Does it mean so much to me?

Yes, it does..!

Solat Maghrib. Surah Al-Mulk.

I feel embarassed. I feel low.

The tears.

Then solat Isyak.

Only after that I feel some composure. Pulling myself together, I told my sister. I will cancel my 2-days leave.

The tears gone and coming back to my sense, I sms to PR. Thanking her. Apologize if there's any damage done.

Then I were informed : " U can still join if there's a suitable program".

Relieved to know that.

But will I dare to join again?

Or will I dare not join anymore.

Is that the end?

Will it ended there?

After all the effort.

The sacrifices.

The risk taken.

The feeling of joy & happiness juz to be a part of them....

But knowing myself well, I know I will always follow my late mother's advice..."biarlah..tak apa.."

Redha.

I understand the rationale.

No hard feelings.